If Only He'd Listened...

(Actual victim of Uhura's moonlight dance in Star Trek V. Dude, we're so totally, like, sorry.)


To cringe or not to cringe, that is the question—

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageously poor costuming choices and plot holes

Or to take arms against a sea of horrific dialogue and poor acting

And by viewing, accept them. To view, to expose the eyes—

Yet again; and by accepting to say we endure

The heart-ache and the thousand (un)natural shocks

That our poor mind is heir to — 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd - NOT!


We try. We try so hard. Sure, it looks easy and fun from afar; the witty banter and casual laughter thrown about with seeming abandon . You would think it's just a few dilettantes, nay, layabouts, merely wasting time in a most frivolous and trivial pursuit. Oh, yes, it's all fun and games - until someone gets hurt.

What, you think this is just a lark? Heck no. We mean business, and the serious kind at that, not that monkey stuff everyone keeps accusing us of.

Guys with a mission. Says so, right there, to the, uh, right.

Our motto: To Serve (not Man, no, don't even go there, no cookbooks here) and Protect.

We take the bullet for you. Let you know what's coming. Tell you when to run and when to hide.

Heed our words. Listen to the 'cast. And when we say cringe, gosh darn it, we mean it! Cover those eyes! Plug those ears! Look away, dear listeners, and don't end up like this poor schlub.

Just when you were getting up to leave....look down and smile again!

From the same people that brought you Idi Amin as Tom Joad and Manuel Noriega as Willy Loman....next in the great tradition of post-dictatorial thespian stylings: Kodos the Executioner as some schlub in a 3rd rate traveling Shakespeare company. Bravo indeed.

Now available on ABDWatchTV as well as iTunes (search Al, Bill, and David or just type in "most popular")..."The Conscience of the King" from ST-TOS' first season. Hemi-facial disfigurement, Kevin Riley, scleral show...and a play to boot. Lucky you.

Like a long-delayed package, revenge, or a satisfying BM....look down and smile!

Following extensive legal proceedings, our now legendary Star Trek V: The Final Frontier podcast commentary is now off YouTube and back on iTunes. Marshmellons, smiling vulcans, and bourbon-tinged flatus aside, free yourself from the tyranny of overwhelming critical and public disdain as you immerse yourself in the ultimate question:

"Excuse me, what would God need with a podcast?...."

PS Go to the ABDWatchTV EBay store...you can get this glossy Lawrence Luckinbill autographed photo for $1.99.

Trouble right here in....

Now available here and on iTunes: Out of Gas, the near-sacred cow of Firefly installments.

Speaking of things neither sacred nor bovine, David lets us in on his idealized recreation...

Up next, Wink of an Eye, From ST-TOS. In this fast-moving 3rd season romp, Kirk gets his boots off, gets his boots back on, and gets some captain stuff in..... or does some stuffin'..... or, well, maybe we should just quit while we're behind, as we are attempting, against all odds, to give at least the pretense of a sense of an impression that we are, after all, a family-friendly 'cast.

Have I got a surprise for you!

Ruk......oh Ruk honey.......I've got your favorite toy!

You can catch our review (along the usual load of blath...uh, we mean, of, er, insightful commentary. Yah. And ribald humor! Yes! There will be ribaldry. Oh, and dancing. Lots of dancing. But no singing this time. We mean it. Really. Sorry about last time.) of this spectacular piece of craftsmanship and precision work HERE.

What are big androids made of INDEED!

PS For those of you who do not subscribe to AB&D Watch TV Premium Service ($12.95 per cast) and are wondering where your ST V: The Final Frontier is, you will either have to pony up (see link to Paypal) or wait until the season dries up after Labor Day, at which point ST V will be released for regular subscribers. In the meanwhile, a free bootleg Spanish translation is available on Unitunivision.

Next up: More on the Cassidy Family.....

No way.

WAY.

Coming soon on ABD: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier...

Paging Cliff Clavin!

ABD have descended into the depths of arcane headstool with their latest installment: Dagger of the Mind, from ST-TOS. Where everybody knows your name.

Available now on this site or over at iTunes (thanks for the huge royalty checks, Steve).

"... If memory serves, the umbilical cord is 90% potassium..."