Al, Bill and David Watch TV

Dinah Shore Leave Me Alone!!!!!

2009-12-26T10:18:00.001-08:00

Did you love the commentary to Miri? A Private Little War? From the long listed back catalog, thought dead or vanished somewhere, forgotten as a nameless number on a list which was afterwards mislaid...

The Phoenix Rises in the form of "Shore Leave". This little known first pilot was rejected by the podcast commentary network as "too cerebral", "too angsty", and the ever-damning "not enough about the Coriolis effect". With a substantial catalog on iTunes and Podcast Archive, the fans have scoured the torrent dregs for this murky gem.

Next up? Who the hell knows.

Enjoy!

It's Al Gore baby!

2008-09-28T11:17:00.000-07:00

Now available on ABDWatch TV, iTunes, etc.....a third season charmer: Let that Be Your Last Battlefield. The Riddler, a trip to the Bubba Belt of the Galaxy, Star-Bellied Sneetches, ships so cloaked they are sub-stealth.

"I can see Charon from my house!...." "Maybe if we touch we'll both turn pink!" "Does this trouser bulge make me look studly?"

NEXT: Just in time for Election 2008: a recrudescent Cold War tale. Village People, Militia, a rising black visionary slapping sense into the sensible, and a crusty white haired leader who asks for more weapons. Coming soon from Al Bill and David Watch TV: A Private Little War

What the f*** is going on here?

2008-05-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

And who the f*** are you? And where are the f***ing posts and 'casts?

Anger been a problem recently? Just the remedy from ABD Watch TV: Be like Nomad. Come back fucked up and fired up to destroy. Singing? Who wants singing when we can have empty circuits? Try opening up these hailing frequencies, asshole. Stay tuned or get ready to get cashiered by Nomad. Don't try any of that Jackson Roykirk shit on him this time.

Worst. Episode. Ever?......

2007-11-18T13:30:00.000-08:00

Eymorg? Triacus? Or E freakin' PLEBNISTA!!!!

Now from ABD watch TV: The Omega Glory....

For that little last minute Valentine's Day gift...or perhaps a missed anniversary....just go to: http://www.midwestpins.com/Star_Trek_NASA_pins.htm . And please, save a little money for your medications.

Even the name hurts.

Please post your vote for W.E.E. if you think The Omega Glory ain't it.

"Get me out of this freakin' episode!!!....." "Get out of your own freakin' episode. I have to do this every f***ing week. Got any food around here?"

Next on ABD Watch TV: Citizen Kane. Best movie ever? We'll see about that.

...To bodily go where many men have gone before....

2007-09-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

IT"S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!

We, the people who are blacker than blue, dreamers of dreams, in order to form a more perfect union, have re-assembled the musicians to take another pass at the pinata that is..................... WINK OF AN EYE. Truly shag-a-licious!

Now available on iTunes and several soft-core sites such as http://www.idospacebabeswheneverican.com/..... No sign of an animal life anywhere. Coffee anyone?

Bringing it on back home...

2007-04-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

Shaw? McBeal? Single Female Lawyer? Who would you call if you had just snuffed out your best friend in an act of Captain's chair pique? What is it with people named Finney/Finnegan? Who are the DeBolts and why do they have 17 children? Now up on Al, Bill & David Watch TV:

Court Martial

(yes you guessed it you....you you)...

Clues for the next installment:

If you know, just keep it to yourself....the rest of the class already hates you. And that Valentine you got from Laura Shumacher? The only one you got? Everyone else in class got one too.

We are now orbiting the planet REBUS

2007-03-12T06:09:00.000-07:00

...cashing in the Bill of Rights....

Can you guess which episode is up next on ABDWatch TV?

(hint for the faint of will: the episode title rhymes with "The Double with Dribbles"...)

If Only He'd Listened...

2007-02-23T14:33:00.000-08:00

(Actual victim of Uhura's moonlight dance in Star Trek V. Dude, we're so totally, like, sorry.)

To cringe or not to cringe, that is the question—

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageously poor costuming choices and plot holes

Or to take arms against a sea of horrific dialogue and poor acting

And by viewing, accept them. To view, to expose the eyes—

Yet again; and by accepting to say we endure

The heart-ache and the thousand (un)natural shocks

That our poor mind is heir to — 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd - NOT!

We try. We try so hard. Sure, it looks easy and fun from afar; the witty banter and casual laughter thrown about with seeming abandon . You would think it's just a few dilettantes, nay, layabouts, merely wasting time in a most frivolous and trivial pursuit. Oh, yes, it's all fun and games - until someone gets hurt.

What, you think this is just a lark? Heck no. We mean business, and the serious kind at that, not that monkey stuff everyone keeps accusing us of.

Guys with a mission. Says so, right there, to the, uh, right.

Our motto: To Serve (not Man, no, don't even go there, no cookbooks here) and Protect.

We take the bullet for you. Let you know what's coming. Tell you when to run and when to hide.

Heed our words. Listen to the 'cast. And when we say cringe, gosh darn it, we mean it! Cover those eyes! Plug those ears! Look away, dear listeners, and don't end up like this poor schlub.

Just when you were getting up to leave....look down and smile again!

2007-02-22T09:04:00.000-08:00

From the same people that brought you Idi Amin as Tom Joad and Manuel Noriega as Willy Loman....next in the great tradition of post-dictatorial thespian stylings: Kodos the Executioner as some schlub in a 3rd rate traveling Shakespeare company. Bravo indeed.

Now available on ABDWatchTV as well as iTunes (search Al, Bill, and David or just type in "most popular")..."The Conscience of the King" from ST-TOS' first season. Hemi-facial disfigurement, Kevin Riley, scleral show...and a play to boot. Lucky you.

Like a long-delayed package, revenge, or a satisfying BM....look down and smile!

2007-01-28T10:15:00.000-08:00

Following extensive legal proceedings, our now legendary Star Trek V: The Final Frontier podcast commentary is now off YouTube and back on iTunes. Marshmellons, smiling vulcans, and bourbon-tinged flatus aside, free yourself from the tyranny of overwhelming critical and public disdain as you immerse yourself in the ultimate question:

"Excuse me, what would God need with a podcast?...."

PS Go to the ABDWatchTV EBay store...you can get this glossy Lawrence Luckinbill autographed photo for $1.99.

Trouble right here in....

2006-10-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

Now available here and on iTunes: Out of Gas, the near-sacred cow of Firefly installments.

Speaking of things neither sacred nor bovine, David lets us in on his idealized recreation...

Up next, Wink of an Eye, From ST-TOS. In this fast-moving 3rd season romp, Kirk gets his boots off, gets his boots back on, and gets some captain stuff in..... or does some stuffin'..... or, well, maybe we should just quit while we're behind, as we are attempting, against all odds, to give at least the pretense of a sense of an impression that we are, after all, a family-friendly 'cast.

Have I got a surprise for you!

2006-07-29T07:02:00.000-07:00

Ruk......oh Ruk honey.......I've got your favorite toy!

You can catch our review (along the usual load of blath...uh, we mean, of, er, insightful commentary. Yah. And ribald humor! Yes! There will be ribaldry. Oh, and dancing. Lots of dancing. But no singing this time. We mean it. Really. Sorry about last time.) of this spectacular piece of craftsmanship and precision work HERE.

What are big androids made of INDEED!

PS For those of you who do not subscribe to AB&D Watch TV Premium Service ($12.95 per cast) and are wondering where your ST V: The Final Frontier is, you will either have to pony up (see link to Paypal) or wait until the season dries up after Labor Day, at which point ST V will be released for regular subscribers. In the meanwhile, a free bootleg Spanish translation is available on Unitunivision.

Next up: More on the Cassidy Family.....

No way.

2006-06-01T09:29:00.000-07:00

WAY.

Coming soon on ABD: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier...

Paging Cliff Clavin!

2006-05-13T04:52:00.000-07:00

ABD have descended into the depths of arcane headstool with their latest installment: Dagger of the Mind, from ST-TOS. Where everybody knows your name.

Available now on this site or over at iTunes (thanks for the huge royalty checks, Steve).

"... If memory serves, the umbilical cord is 90% potassium..."

And just what did you have in mind for your statue?

2006-04-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

After simultaneous month-long stretches in 3 of Central America's finest "rehab facilities", Al, Bill, & David are back with another Firefly episode, "Jaynestown". Much singing, some whoring, and a little philosophy. Now on iTUNES and this site. An artist, I tell you, an artist.

Next up: "Dagger of the Mind" from ST-TOS.

Star Trek - Iron Chef Edition! Oh, wait...

2006-04-04T18:38:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Al, Bill and David's kitchen. Today's special: Lasagna. Lots of it. Fresh and piping hot! (Hah! Get it? Piping! Cuz the Horta cut all those tunnels that look like pipes! And then there's that plumber's nightmare, right? Plumbers work on pipes, sure, they sure do! And don't silicon-based life forms have pipes instead of... of... oooh. Sorry. Just a moment of weakness there.)

We must have all been pretty hungry this time around. Lasagna, breasts of succulence... What, did I say hungry? Maybe we had something else on our minds. Well, Al did, anyway. Must have been all the rounded bits of silicone hanging about. (And yah, the rest of the gang have tried repeatedly - well, once, anyway - to explain the difference between silicon and silicone to the dear boy, but to be perfectly honest, we prefer thinking about strategically placed bits of silicone surgical enhancements ourselves, and have come to the conclusion that Al may have the correct approach after all: It is in fact better to be happy rather than right.)

So the point of all this is that we finally have an episode to post. Again. Neat. You can download it by using the link on the right, or from the iTunes music store. You have subscribed to us there, right Mom?

Devil in the Dark can be picked up from Amazon.com here:

Star Trek: The Original Series Volume 13 - This Side Of Paradise/The Devil In The Dark

(Excellent! Prepare for cheesy Utz-filled Podception: Two shining examples of Leonard Nimoy doing what he does best! It's almost too much of a good thing! Almost.)

Or of course, you can pick up the complete first season here:

Star Trek: The Original Series - The Complete First Season

Next up: Back for some more cleav... uh, Firefly. Scary hair. Abusive descriptions. Splenetic bible study. Jaynestown.

No Pod I

2006-03-23T12:16:00.000-08:00

The pain! Cry for the children! Yes, in response to overwhelming demand from both non-related subscribers, THE DEVIL IN THE DARK. Get your hands off me you damned dirty carbon-based lifeform. Witness the finest Nimoy impersonation of Shatner ever recorded outside of an Ameritrade commercial. Be honest, did you cry? Did you feel that uncomfortable lump in your gullet the size of a tribble nut? Coming this week!

Dirty. I feel dirty.

2006-03-19T10:40:00.000-08:00

Finally, all the finagling worked. I got Al and Bill to do a Firefly episode. One of the best, Shindig. How will I get Inara to listen? She seems so far away. She doesn't even know I am alive...........David
PS I am saving up to buy my own ship.

WARNING: DO NOT SCROLL DOWN

2006-03-15T05:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Diary,

There is a bad man who sent me a picture of someone I never liked and now I like her less. Now I like him less. Please make him stop.

Al

For those of you that can't resist, HHGG Episode 2 is now available on iTunes.

And for our next trick, either Spock's Brain or some show called Fire's Fly or something like that. Serene Valley?

Dear Zooey, behave or this will be your fate.

David

Good Things™ come to those who wait...

2006-03-06T22:17:00.000-08:00

...or something. And what a wait it was. And for what? The five-baller. Just a few quick notes:

We had technical difficulties up the yinyang. I don't know what that means either, but it sure did keep us down for a month.

There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that Al was too drunk to turn on the TV, much less speak coherently about what he was watching. Uh, really. It was just some problem because he was using dial-up. And apparently he is sticking by that story.

Intel Macs rock. They just don't like Skype very much. Universal Binary, wherefore art thou?

All the technical problems led us to try something a little different: Separate recordings mixed later rather than one recording of all speakers at the same time. Does it sound any better? (What the heck is happening, supplying useful information rather than fluff! Bad writer, bad!) We wonder... If ones podcast and none listen, does it make a sound?

You can find the episode at your local video store, or order it from Amazon.com using this link:

Where No Man Has Gone Before/The Corbomite Maneuver

(Holy Testicle Tuesday! Where No Man Has Gone Before? That's, like, one of the best episodes in the universe! We gotta do that one soon!)

The claim that someone requested Spock's Brain is apparently not only correct, but also serious. In our opinion, seriously flawed, but then who are we to judge. We'll have to consult the cat.

You can find our podcast for the week at the iTunes Music Store, or download it directly here:

The Corbomite Maneuver (mp3)

AB&D

Next up: We return to our origins. Episode 2 of the BBC TV production of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

The Five Baller is on the loose

2006-03-05T07:50:00.000-08:00

What is that sound? The sound of things clicking?

...Live from Dissociative Studios, the next ST-TOS commentary: The Corbomite Maneuver. Nudity, drinking, manequins, degenerate child actors, mental instability....What more could you ask for from a 1966 TV show?

How did this man come to like bears?

Was it the tranya? Or the solitutude?

Uh, Mr. Bailey......Is that you in the bear suit?

Offical snack food and idealized position for "podception"

2006-02-27T09:31:00.000-08:00

In order to maximize your receptive joy, ABDWTV have teamed up with several "joy" sponsors. First of all, the deluxe stirrups are available from most reputable medical supply houses....Speaking of finger lickin' good, what better way to seal the deal than a vacuum sealed tub of UTZ cheeze balls. "...If they ain't UTZ, they just ain't....."

Podding: all fun and games until someone.....

2006-02-24T10:20:00.000-08:00

Lesson to all: never cast while using a nailgun. Bill, the inveterate tinkerer, couldn't keep from using his hands while his micromask was strapped on. He still can't explain why a 1967 Sunbeam Alpine needs a nailgun taken to its undercarriage from time to time (or how this ricocheted back into his gullet), but he is feeling much better now. A little hoarse, but fine. More pudding, Bill?

Mating and the modern podder

2006-02-21T19:37:00.000-08:00

Titillating thread title. Hard to say what it all means but think of it as a non-devotional MST 3000 with odd and useless facts. Next up: Corbomite Maneuver and Episode 2 of the 1981 BBC Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Yah, we know.

2006-02-17T19:23:00.000-08:00

Sorry to have taken such a long time off. One of us was busy turning 40, and the rest of us were letting him make us enjoy it with him. And enjoy it we did. Outrageous musical performances. Donuts. BBQ. Engine grease. Blue Sun. Friends. Stuff like that. We'll be doing our episode really soon now. Like any second...

AB&D

The Man Trap - aka: She's not that hot.

2006-02-14T21:48:00.000-08:00

And so we come to another show, and another Star Trek - The Original Series episode at that. The Man Trap was the first Star Trek episode ever aired. None of us saw that original airing. In fact, 33% of us weren't even born at the time. Didn't stop us from making up for lost time later on.

The recording should be a little bit better this time around than our first failed attempt at this (that we never posted for all the standard reasons, and that, as has been mentioned before, was due to an entirely avoidable set of circumstances that has yet to be fully understood), in that more than one of us was actually recorded. To be perfectly honest however, there is no guarantee that this is, in fact, an improvement.

And we have to apologize for all the long pauses. It has been a long time since we have seen this episode, decades for some, and it may in fact be that none of us have ever seen the unedited version. So we may be a little too busy watching the show and geeking out all over the place to actually get around to speaking. Cuz it's just that good a show. We think. Hope you agree.

Again, you can subscribe to our podcast at the iTunes Music Store, or you can download the commentary directly here:

The Man Trap (MP3)

If you can't find a copy of this episode at your local video store or library, you can pick up the individual episode along with The Naked Time at Amazon.com here:

Star Trek - The Original Series Vol. 3: The Man Trap/The Naked Time

or you can purchase the entire first season here:

Star Trek The Original Series - The Complete First Season

Looking forward to hearing your comments.

AB&D

Oh, we forgot the most important thing, like, ever. If you are to come away from this with anything at all, we hope it will be a fuller appreciation of the vastly underestimated fact that sometimes, a sexy negligee just isn't enough.

Next up: The Corbomite Maneuver. Probably. (And yes, don't worry, we are still gonna do some Guide work. Really soon now. Yeah.)

The Naked Time - Our first Star Trek Commentary!

2006-02-13T23:26:00.000-08:00

So we have decided to work in a little Star Trek The Original Series. This is probably what started it all for us. Or was it this Antiques Roadshow Find? (Albuquerque, 2002: $1,500-$2,000, including original box) This may be the most pathetic merchandising (until the recent Shatner Stone episode). The signed Bruce Hyde (Riley) did not make air during the Minneapolis 2004 roadshow ($2-$4).

If you haven't already done so, you can download the show by subscribing to our podcast at the iTunes Music Store. Alternatively, you can download this week's episode directly from this URL:

The Naked Time (MP3)

The original idea was to do all the episodes in the order in which they aired, but it was not to be. Our recording of that first episode, The Man Trap, was lost for all time, due to a random quantum fluctuation affecting the spacetime continuum localized around the computer doing the recording.

Yes, that was it. Eddies in the spacetime continuum. (Is he, is he.....?)

Okay, what really happened was that the dork responsible for recording the commentary did not know what he was doing, though he was operating under an entirely opposite and incorrect assumption. (And just for the record, it was not the dork with headphones tied to his face, nor the dork who came up with the idea for this whole endeavor in the first place, but an entirely different dork that was responsible for this poor state of affairs.)

But now, all is well and we have tried to do another episode entirely. We are starting with The Naked Time. Not to be confused with the seekers of the fully functional, as in the TNG "Naked Now". We like it a lot. We hope you will too. You can very likely find this episode at your local video store or even public library, and if not, you can pick it up from amazon.com as one of 2 episodes (the second episode being, by a wildly spectacular and yet completely coincidental coincidence, The Man Trap) here:

Star Trek - The Original Series Vol. 3: The Man Trap/The Naked Time

or you can pick up the entire first season (which we will eventually be covering anyway) here:

Star Trek The Original Series - The Complete First Season

And don't worry. We haven't forgotten about the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. We will most definitely be commenting the rest of the episodes. But in the meantime, if you haven't read the book(s), you should. You just.....should. Totally worth your time. And rather than spoiling you for anything, reading the books will only make watching the show that much more fun. Again, you'll just have to trust us.

Keep Flying! (Yah, that's a hint.)

AB&D

Next up: We revisit The Man Trap. Probably.

Episode One is up for grabs!

2006-02-11T19:18:00.000-08:00

So it would seem that our first commentary is up and available for download: Episode one of the BBC Television production of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

You can get it by subscribing to our Podcast at iTunes Music Store, or you can download it directly at:

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (BBC TV) Episode 1 (MP3)

Enjoy, and let us know what you think.

AB&D

Next up will be: Star Trek The Original Series - The Naked Time

Welcome to our living room!

2006-02-11T18:55:00.000-08:00

So what is this all about? A little experiment among friends. We love science fiction. But not all science fiction. Just some science fiction. Most, though not all, is older science fiction (okay, lazy typer that I am, please allow me the use of SF in future use of the term), particularly movie and television stuff. We like to watch, have been doing just that for going on more than 3 but less than 5 decades (well over a century between the 3 of us), and we are really good at it. And we would like to share some of our insights with the general public. Sorry everyone.

We are rarely bored, but often boring. Sadly, we are often at our least bored when we are at our most boring. But maybe we can share a bit of knowledge or an opinion that will enhance your viewing experience of some show or movie, and it will all not have been for naught.

So here's how it is: We watch a movie or an episode of a show. We record a commentary to run along with your viewing of said movie or show. You download it. You listen along whilst watching the show. Sort of like a DVD commentary. Fox does this with the new Battlestar Galactica. So we won't (yet). But we will do others. This blog will serve as the show notes for the episodes.

You can subscribe to our show at the iTunes Music store or you can paste the following URL into your favorite Podcatching software:

http://www.dcohanim.virtualave.net/podcast/albillanddavid.rss

We'll start off with something obscure, and move on to other things. Your DVD collection will end up growing, or at least put to fuller use, and hopefully you will be a better geek for it.

We'd love to entertain suggestions for shows of interest. Oh, sorry, that was a lie (though not a big one). We already have enough trouble coming to decisions about what we are going to do, and we feel we would be doing folks a disservice by talking about stuff we know nothing about. Lots of blank spots on the recording would ensue, and you don't need us for that, you can do it on your own. But we would appreciate some feedback. Especially the unpleasantly critical stuff, because we are masochists at heart.

First piece up for discussion is Episode 1 (of 6) of the Original Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, the television production put out by the BBC in 1981. We grew up loving this stuff; this, and even more so the books and radio series, really changed our perspectives on a lot of things and definitely colored our vocabularies. Trust us, that's a good thing.

You can find it at Amazon.com here:

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (BBC TV - 1982)

None of us had trouble finding a copy at our local video rental store, especially after the recent release of the (travesty of a (but just in certain members' opinions)) movie. So rent it, pop in disk one, go to the episode selection menu, and we'll see what you think.

By the way, this is our first attempt at a podcast, so please forgive us as it is really quite awful. But we'll get better, We promise.

Next up: Episode 2, or perhaps it might be time to dust off your copy of Star Trek: The Original Series...