(Actual victim of Uhura's moonlight dance in Star Trek V. Dude, we're so totally, like, sorry.)
To cringe or not to cringe, that is the question—
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageously poor costuming choices and plot holes
Or to take arms against a sea of horrific dialogue and poor acting
And by viewing, accept them. To view, to expose the eyes—
Yet again; and by accepting to say we endure
The heart-ache and the thousand (un)natural shocks
That our poor mind is heir to — 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd - NOT!
We try. We try so hard. Sure, it looks easy and fun from afar; the witty banter and casual laughter thrown about with seeming abandon . You would think it's just a few dilettantes, nay, layabouts, merely wasting time in a most frivolous and trivial pursuit. Oh, yes, it's all fun and games - until someone gets hurt.
What, you think this is just a lark? Heck no. We mean business, and the serious kind at that, not that monkey stuff everyone keeps accusing us of.
Guys with a mission. Says so, right there, to the, uh, right.
Our motto: To Serve (not Man, no, don't even go there, no cookbooks here) and Protect.
We take the bullet for you. Let you know what's coming. Tell you when to run and when to hide.
Heed our words. Listen to the 'cast. And when we say cringe, gosh darn it, we mean it! Cover those eyes! Plug those ears! Look away, dear listeners, and don't end up like this poor schlub.
